As a recovered awkward guy, I got into studying game and attraction years ago.
First, I got into the old school PUA stuff, and it helped, but as I get close to ten years into studying and applying principles from personal development and dating dynamics (aka game), I’m finding more and more that I prefer a natural approach to meeting and attracting women.
I’d like to discuss three less discussed ways to naturally attract women — each that align with your core masculine makeup.
Nothing that follows has as a specific script or a step-by-step process. Instead, the three ideas that follow can easily be embodied into your unique personality—so that you can attract women naturally.
1. Put Your Mission First
“Putting your mission first” sounds a little cliche—especially living these days where the world is tame and soft and safe, but we descended from men who were killers.
By re-connecting with what our 21st century mission is on this planet, and honoring it, attracting women becomes way easier.
Just the other night, I was working on an important project for my website when my phone buzzed. It was from Ashley, a woman I’ve been sleeping with lately. She wanted to come over and “watch a movie.”
Now, I’ll be honest. The old me would have dropped what I was doing and accepted her invitation.
But I’ve since found putting my mission first makes me feel more masculine and more fulfilled for the long term.
Especially when I stay focused instead of capitulating to the short term gratification of good, yet unproductive weekday sex.
David Deida talked about this in his book, Way of the Superior Man. He urges male readers to put their purpose, or their mission, at the very peak of their priority list. It’s his belief that doing so not only energizes us as men, but equally, creates a stronger sexual polarity between men and women.
Regarding Ashley, the very next day, I received another text asking me if I would be free later that night. I said yes, but I had to finish my work first. Finally, after finishing everything, I invited her over. And we had a hell of a night full of wild sex.
Case and point—putting your mission first doesn’t drive women away from you. Instead, doing so only enhances attraction. You attract women by putting your mission first.
2. Embrace the Silence
One of the few quotes I’ve ever appreciated on instagram reads as follows…
Silence is better than bullshit.
Embracing silence—in all of its forms—is a trigger of natural attraction, too.
Whether it’s embracing a long pause to build sexual tension in conversation, or creating space before responding to her text messages, silence creates attraction.
In fact, this principle of embracing silence has worked so well for me lately that I actually decided to stop paying for cell phone data. Now I’m harder to get ahold of. This creates more silence from my corner—especially in regards to the women I’m currently dating.
Since dropping my cell phone carrier, I’ve found it’s paradoxically become easier to both get women to respond to me, and to meet up with me.
I believe the reason why is simple: the silence I’m now creating sparks a natural attraction that other guys, who probably text her non-stop, simply aren’t generating.
You attract women by shutting up and embracing silence.
3. Practice Sexual Discipline
Last Saturday evening, I went out with Tiffani for the first time. About two hours in, we were dancing together on top of a killer rooftop bar—with a stunning view of the city skyline.
To my enjoyment, she was escalating on me, rubbing my crotch, and putting my hand towards hers. At around this time, I counted down from 3, to 2, to 1. Then, I playfully told her, “Okay, time’s up. You can’t touch me there anymore.”
Upon being told she couldn’t grab my junk anymore, she immediately lurched her hand back.
And while difficult to deny her sexual advances, I whispered in her ear, “Can’t touch me there right now. Have some patience… The night is young.”
An hour later, we were back at my place. Not long after, she was passionately giving me a sexual experience I may never forget.
The primary reason why she excitedly pleased me, I believe, was because I demonstrated something I used to completely lack — sexual discipline.
Instead of being a man without boundaries, I created a challenge for her by deploying all the sexual discipline I could summon.
After years of trying to hurry into sex, nowadays, I try to stay disciplined and slow the process of sexual escalation with women. I’ve found that doing so makes every step of the process hotter—for both of us.
It also seems to make women more comfortable sexually, probably because she knows she’s with a man who’s demonstrating the opposite of juvenile over-arousal.
Those who’ve read David Deida’s aforementioned book will remember that he comments on this idea as well.
Notably, he encourages men to completely control their come, and to repress ejaculation. Doing so, he states, gives the man more sexual power whilst creating increased sexual attraction between the man and the woman.
While that’s a tall task, by simply summoning your discipline and slowing the sexual process a bit, by establishing short term boundaries, you tap into this power. And you’ll find you attract women more easily and naturally.
It’s true: you attract women by disciplining your sexual urges.
By putting your mission first, embracing silence in all it’s forms, and practicing some sexual discipline, you’ll likely find what I have—that attracting women becomes easier and more natural.
Each of these ideas is essentially a form of masculine self-regulation, put into action in your dating life. The more you commit to these ideas, the easier it becomes. It’s a bit of a domino effect…
Likewise, strengthening your self-regulation is a well documented trait that helps men achieve success in multiple areas.
From strength training to business to dieting to the acquisition of new skills, self-regulation is a masculine trait associated with success across countless domains.
As such, by embracing these three ideas, not only will you likely become a more naturally attractive man to women, but you may also become more successful in other areas, too.
To your peak,
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