Daygame is a lot like hitting in the major leagues. For some reference, let’s consider Jose Altuve.
Jose Altuve, the 2017 batting champion, hit .346 during the regular season. Now, if you’re a baseball fan, you know a .346 batting average is amazing. Any fan would take a .346 hitter on his team — and with open arms.
However, this also means Altuve — the batting champ — failed to get a hit the large majority of the time.
To be specific, the best hitter in 2017 failed to get a hit in 65.4% of his eligible at bats.
Daygame, or the process of meeting women during the day, is a lot like getting into the batters box. By learning daygame, you will get lots of “hits”, but you’ll also come up short more often than you will get a hit.
From experience, I know approaching women during the day gives you amazing results with stunning women.
But if you’re going to succeed in this game, you need to know a mental secret to success in daygame…
The Mindset Shift to Success in Daygame?
Before you get out there and start taking some swings, aka approaching women, there’s a little secret you should know. Understanding this one secret will save you tons of frustration.
So what is it?
Understand that like baseball, you cannot expect to hit a “home-run” every time you approach a woman.
In fact, you will not even get her phone number on the majority of your approaches — even when you get really good at this shit. I’m saying this from experience. I’ve been regularly approaching women for 6+ years.
Most guys have deluded expectations when they approach women.
They (at least want to) expect that every woman they approach should bow down, give herself to him, and crown him king. But it doesn’t work this way.
For one, at least half the women you approach during they day have a legitimate boyfriend or husband. It’s just the math. Beyond that, a decent number of women will also either be extremely busy, in a bad mood, or otherwise unable to talk with you. And that’s okay.
Each approach you make during the day offers you a real chance for success.
With daygame, there aren’t other guys around, her friends aren’t there to pull her away from you, and you get major confidence points in her mind — simply for making your move during the day.
Likewise, you don’t have to go out of your way to get a killer dating life when you start practicing regular daygame. No more chasing chicks around the club. Here, you’re the badass on his path. The champ who chats up stunning women when the opportunity presents itself.
You can get real results with daygame. Especially when you follow one crucial rule for success…
The “One-a-Day” Rule for Daygame Success
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
Have you ever heard that one? It’s corny. But this advice applies to daygame.
When you approach one stunning woman each weekday, you will quickly get both momentum and results.
By approaching at least one woman during each weekday, you quickly re-condition yourself to make approaching women during the day a habit. A habit that’ll serve you well. You will soon have more quality dating options than you have time.
The secret then, is to pat yourself on the back each day you approach a woman — regardless of outcome. Doing so helps ingrain this “one-a-day” habit.
No doubt about it: The one-a-day rule keeps you in a state of mental abundance. You’re always meeting new women. Which makes you non-needy and fills you with confidence. These positive traits help your future approaches go better.
Equally, the one-a-day rule makes you a challenge for the women who you begin dating. Women you meet quickly get the sense that you’re a man with multiple dating options.
This is a trait women may not always like, but secretly crave….
But how do you started? Especially in the beginning when you may be really nervous about approaching women? As this graph below shows, it’s normal to feel real fear just before approaching women — especially when you first start.
The one-a-day rule encourages much needed repetition. This desensitizes your fear of approaching women. But especially in the beginning, it helps to have a mental affirmation.
This one affirmation makes it far easier to start approaching women…
The #1 Mental Affirmation for Daygame Success
You’ve heard it before: women like a man who’s confident.
And it’s true. After personally doing thousands of approaches, there’s no doubt that when you approach a woman feeling confident, everything goes better.
Just look at this woman’s reaction to my very direct, bold approach…
The following affirmation will help you approach with confidence — especially in the beginning.
If she’s stunning, I’m gunning.
By gunning, I mean — going for it! Making my move! If she’s stunning, I’m gunning. Try repeating that statement to yourself over-and-over.
To really hammer this affirmation home, watch this 60 second video for a deeper explanation of how to use this affirmation to achieve success…
There’s one more key element to mastering this mindset.
Just because you’re “gunning” doesn’t mean you’re sold. Yes — you approach her confidently. You’re not second-guessing yourself. If you go, you GO. However, this does NOT mean you are SOLD on her being “the one.”
In fact, you want to think about daygame almost as if you’re interviewing her. You’re asking yourself, “Is she for me? Does her personality gel with mine? Is she the type of girl I’m looking for — or not?”
Note that this is exactly what she’s going to be thinking about you. And that’s fine. Dating is a two-way street. Just make sure you keep your side of the street moving.
You are the buyer here when you’re gunning. Sure, she’s stunning. But you’re looking for more than just a pretty face… Aren’t you? I sure hope so… 😉
How to Create Immediate Rapport in Daygame
We both know it.
Most guys bore stunning women to tears. Their conversations with women are logical, trite, and safe. They ask her about “her job,” comment on “the weather,” and otherwise tire the shit out of her.
Don’t be that guy!
Luckily, you’ve done your homework. Which is why you’re about to know the secret to spark immediate rapport with stunning women.
Here it is…
The secret to creating instant rapport is to immediately talk to women you meet in a fun, lighthearted, emotional way.
To help you master this ability fast, I want to share an exclusive daily audio I dropped for the champs inside my membership, Dominate as a Single Man.
Listen to this bad boy to discover 3 proven ways to break the ice with women. Use these strategies. You will immediately stand out from the crowd and make a killer first impression with stunning women…
Proven Ways to Break the Ice with Stunning Women - Ep 124
Flirting with women is an art. And damn is it a fun, rewarding one to learn. Especially when you can flirt from the second you meet women!
Guys like you and I just can’t help ourselves — we enjoy flirting 😉
By appealing less to logic, more to emotions, and by creating fun out of thin air — as you just learned to do in the exclusive audio above — you will create epic first impressions when you approach during the day.
But from experience, I’ve learned a killer first impression isn’t enough. You need to carry out a longer conversation and build more comfort to maximize your results with daygame…
The Magic of 10+ Minutes in Daygame
I used to think that carrying out a few minutes of flirty banter after a good approach was enough. Truth is, it was (and is) good enough to get her number — a topic we’ll discuss in a moment.
However, most of the numbers I received after quick 5 minute banter sessions with women never turned into anything. Finally, I stumbled on the magic of carrying out a conversation for over 10 minutes…
When your conversations with women last over 10 minutes in daygame, everything that follows becomes infinitely easier…
After 10 minutes, it’s way easier to get her number. And that number you just got? Suddenly, it’s a solid one. She’s far more likely to respond to your texts.
Equally, after 10 minutes, you often have a chance to take your new lady friend on an instant-date. She’s far more likely to comply with this invitation after 10 minutes.
You absolutely want to stay in the conversation for 10 minutes or longer. You’ll be glad you did 😉
But what should you talk about? Lots of guys struggle with this. Fortunately, we’ve got you covered…
3 Ways to Hold a Conversation with a Beautiful Woman
First, tell her a story.
Perhaps a story about why you do what you do, a story of adventure that relates to your conversation, or a story about your experiences in the location the two of you are meeting at.
Truthfully, any story will do. Stories are captivating, they build connection between people, and they burn up substantial time, too.
Equally, you can get really good at telling one or two stories — and lead lots of your conversations from daygame towards those stories…
Second up? Keep teasing her and flirting with her — especially if you’re on a role.
Speaking of rolls, you could role-play with her. If she tells you she’s a teacher in real life, make up a fictitious story about how for once, she’s going to be the student, and you’re going to be her teacher. This works great if she shows an interest in something you know well — like surfing or painting or a foreign language.
If you want more ideas regarding flirting, check out this comprehensive blog post.
Finally, you can keep the conversation going by asking her questions about herself. Questions are important. But be careful here…
The Right (and Wrong) Way to Ask a Woman Questions
First, share a bit about yourself before you bombard her with questions. Too many questions too soon can overwhelm her — especially if you’re newer to daygame and don’t know the subtle cues that hint she’s getting uncomfortable.
A good rule of thumb is to share about yourself first, and then, follow up with the reciprocal question afterwards. For example, if you share a story about what you do professionally, and why you do it, you can follow up by asking her…
So my new lady friend, what occupies your time?
When it comes to asking her personal questions off a cold approach, asking somewhat vague questions works well. This gives her freedom to answer in a way she’s comfortable.
And that’s the point of the 10+ minute conversation — you need to build comfort and rapport. Remember, you were a stranger to her just a few minutes ago. So avoid intense questions that may cause her anxiety.
If she feels anxiety, you’re probably done.
Note that there is one way to rebound if you make a woman uncomfortable. And we’ll cover that in a minute. But first… There’s one more thread of questions that is both safe (and VERY important)…
Ask for her logistics!
Definitely ask what she’s up to right now (and ask this quickly so that you can calibrate your conversation). Likewise, ask if she’s got herself a nice boyfriend.
Lastly, ask where she lives. Just don’t try to nail down her address or anything. instead, get a general sense of where she lives once it’s clear there’s some mutual interest.
These questions are critical to your success. Not only do they burn up time, but they give you crucial information for making your upcoming moves…
And now, once you carry out a nice chat for 10 minutes or more, you’re in a prime position to make your next move…
How to Get Her Number in Daygame
Here’s a curveball: the number isn’t the goal in daygame!
No sir. The goal is actually to get the girl on a date with you right then and there. This is what you want to aim for.
When you try to get her on an instant date, you’ll find that even if she cannot join you due to other obligations, the phone number becomes super easy to get. It becomes more reliable, too.
This is analogous to the negotiation strategy of asking for everything you wanted, so that it’s very likely you’ll get everything you needed.
Though in truth, trying to get an instant date isn’t asking for anything unreasonable — if there’s good rapport and nice conversation. After 10 minutes or more of good chat, ask the woman if she’d like to get a quick cup of coffee, tea, a beer, or a quick bite to eat.
If you screened for her logistics (what she’s up to right now) beforehand, this invitation has a good chance of working. Especially if you make the request with your most nonchalant, yet fun tone of voice.
Hey, this is fun. Let’s grab a quick drink and keep chatting. How does a quick cup of coffee sound?
When you make your request to keep the experience going, wear a smile, and assume compliance a little bit. For example, if you already have her hand, you can slowly start leading her towards the local coffee shop.
However, there’s a fine line here. You don’t want to make the decision for her. You want her to want to go with you. But by leading a little bit, and subtly assuming the sale, you make it easier for her to want to go with you.
The last thing you want to do is ask her to come with you with doubt or uncertainty. Edge on the side of confidence.
However, even if you do everything right here, there’s a real chance she will pass on your offer. Again, that’s normal and to be expected. It’s at this point that you fall back on plan B and grab her number….
Playing the Numbers Game When Getting Her Number
You continue right where you left off.
All good. Let’s swap numbers and we can grab a drink soon.
Then, fully assumptive, pull out your phone and ask her to put in her information. Tell her to spell her name correctly. As she finishes inputting her contact info, try to lock down specific plans for a date. For example…
Before we go, Sarah… This Thursday around 6:30pm, you free? We can meet at X, the rooftop bar near 45th avenue with the killer view of the skyline.
Your plans should sound awesome. But don’t oversell it like a used car salesman. Also, don’t phrase your invite as a date! That’s too much pressure. Notice how there was no mentioning the word “date” in the example above. Asking a girl out on a “date” ruins your results!
By asking her out as explained above instead, there’s a real chance she says yes on the spot. However, she may say she’s not free on the day you offered. Here, she may suggest a different day — when she is free. Or, she may say she needs to refer to her calendar — and ask that you text her to square away the details.
Regardless of the specifics, you just ensured that the number you received from her is rock solid. Sarah knows you intend to see her again 😉
So, when Sarah responds to your greeting text, which can be as simple as, “Hey, it’s _(your name)_,” she’s implicitly agreed to meet you — because she knows why you texted her. Doing the work up front makes everything that follows far more effective.
With that, let’s dive into 5 bonus strategies that’ll ensure you get results in daygame faster…
Bonus #1: The First 30 Seconds of Your Daygame Approach
The best women to approach in daygame are sexy women who are walking alongside you — heading in the same direction you are.
When she’s walking alongside you, the two of you can carry out a nice, long chat without either of you having to stop your day. It’s simple: when you’re walking down the street, if there’s a sexy woman heading in the same direction, take action!
These moments are lob tosses in comparison to any other type of approach.
In most other circumstances, either you need to stop the woman or walk in the wrong direction to keep the conversation going. Getting a woman to stop immediately can be difficult, which is why you may need to walk with her for a few moments before trying.
Only once her eyes begin lighting up — due to your prince charming presence — is she ready to stop. That’s what happened in this picture below…
I walked alongside the girl for a moment, then, once I saw she was warming up to me, I asked her to stop. Since my timing was right, she complied 😉
Beware: Walking too long in the right direction sub-communicates her time is more valuable than yours, so definitely try to stop her. You can say…
Hey, let’s stop for just a minute.
If you’ve done good work, she will. However, if she wont stop, I usually cut bait and wish her well.
The other ideal situation for approaching is when a woman is sitting — perhaps on a bench. Here, introduce yourself. Then, sit down next to her. If you approach with a smile and say something funny in the first 20 seconds, she’ll welcome your presence.
But don’t sit too close to her right off the bat. Keeping some space between the two of you keeps her from feeling anxious. Remember, the last thing you want is her feeling uncomfortable around you. If you notice the girl is uncomfortable, you’ve usually already lost. Here, cut bait.
Bonus #2: A Golden Secret for Instant Flirty Daygame Banter
As soon as humanly possible, blame her for making you approach her!
Tell her she looks too good — that it’s just not fair how she made you come say hi to her…
Shake your head playfully and rant on about how bothersome she’s being…
I’m really upset about this. I was busy and you made me approach you. Not fair, little lady… Not fair at all!
Pretending to get upset here works well. The more you can fake your anger, while wearing a cheeky grin, the better. She’ll love the emotional experience you’re creating for her.
By blaming her right off the bat, you’re instantly creating banter. You’re also immediately including her in the experience. This frames this experience as her fault as much as it is yours. Yes, this one takes a little courage. It shows her you like pushing the edges… 😉
Unless if she strongly disagrees with you or asks you to leave, her continued communication with you subcommunciates that the two of you are now both seducing one another — even if it’s very playful and innocent at this point.
Give this one a whirl. You wont regret it.
Bonus #3: A Little Daygame Empathy Goes a Long Way
Let’s be honest: most guys do NOT approach women during the day. Likewise, women are not expecting you to approach them. While it’s true that this unexpected approach is what makes daygame so effective, it’s also true that a daytime approach can unnerve a woman.
It’s why you need empathy in your daytime approaches.
When you start the conversation, if you see any signs of stress on the woman’s face, or in her body language, immediately call it out with an empathetic statement. For example…
Hey, I get it. I know this is a bit bold and unusual. And I didn’t want to catch you off guard. But I just wanted to talk to you and I knew this was our only chance.
A line similar to this works wonders. An empathetic statement like this convoys your social intelligence — which is a trait women are naturally attracted to.
Saying something like this, when you notice discomfort, also makes her feel a much needed initial bit of connection with you. She realizes you can emotionally relate to her experience.
An expression of empathy is your last (and best) move to make when your approach comes in too hot and overwhelms her a bit — or catch her off guard.
The second you sense discomfort, you ideally want to empathize on three levels…
1) Acknowledge that it’s totally normal for her to feel a bit unsure. Say, “Hey, I get it,”
2) Recognize that it’s unusual for guys to approach women midday. For example, “I know this is a bit unusual,”
3) State why you did approach her nevertheless, “This was our one chance — and I had to take it.”
Do those three things when you sense discomfort and you’ll pull seemingly impossible interactions from the dead — reviving your chances of daygame success.
Bonus #4: Don’t Text Her All the Damned Time
When they start getting some numbers with daygame, most guys destroy their hard work by texting the shit out of the women who’s numbers they received.
Don’t do this! Less is more. You want to text her sparingly. This keeps her excitedly waiting for your responses.
Pauses of over 24 hours between sending her a text should be the norm, not the exception.
Remember — the primary reason you got her number was to set plans to see her again. Therefore, the majority of your texting should revolve around creating and confirming plans to meet up.
You should equally keep your invitations to once a week. Too many invitations too fast exposes that you have no life. So be careful and use patience here, too.
For more on texting, read this comprehensive blog post here.
Bonus #5: Stick to Women Who are Alone to Start
If you’re just getting started, a one-on-one conversation is a hell of a lot more simple than dealing with a group. Likewise, a one-on-one conversation between you and the women makes building rapport and connection easier (and more efficient).
Another reason to approach women who are alone? Especially when you’re getting started? These women are more likely single.
In a sense, only approaching women who are alone is like waiting for a fastball. It’s the easiest pitch to crush — especially when you’re looking for it 😉
There’s one more big advantage to approaching women who are flying solo. When you make a connection with a woman who’s alone, none of her friends will know of your existence. What this means?
You and her have a little secret. She doesn’t have to tell her friends about you — at least not right away. Her friends not knowing about you eliminates any anxiety producing social pressure.
She can feel free and for once — she’s liberated from judgement from her friends. This leads to killer benefits for both of you… 😉
By giving her the choice to keep you as her little secret (which she’ll often quietly do), everything becomes easier. From getting her out with you, to enjoying an uninhibited sexual experience with her, good things are more likely to occur.
An Important Question for You…
Before we wrap this bad boy up, I have an important question for you…
Will you commit to the “one-a-day” rule? And will you start approaching women during the day? If so, when? Before work? During lunch? On your way home?
Let me know in the comments section below. Let’s keep the conversation going.
To your peak,
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You don’t have to cold approach to meet quality women! You can get results without approaching. There’s honestly an easier way… And it’s simple too!