Desensitizing yourself from fear and rejection is a lot like going to the gym.
When was the last time you got in an amazing workout? You know, the type of workout where your shirt is soaked in sweat. And your body is shaking from being pushed to complete exhaustion.
The gym is a metaphorical reminder of life: what you put in is what you get out.
If you’ve committed yourself to a workout regimen, you know that in the short term, the pain of working out feels backbreaking. But there’s also a strange high that we get from pushing our limits.
And as we discuss in the video below, desensitizing yourself from your fears and concerns about rejection is a lot like going to the gym.
Your Fears are like that Burn in the Gym
Over time, just as you can learn to love the burn at the gym, you can train yourself to cherish facing your fears.
Using a simple strategy revealed in this video episode, you can desensitize yourself to fear and rejection. When you do, you’re going to feel nearly limitless…
I have a confession: I was blatantly rejected just the other day from a woman I really liked.
And to be honest, the old me was terrified to experience this.
Getting rejected?! That was one of my greatest fears in life. It’s why I used to live so safely. I never put myself out there romantically, socially, or professionally…
And when I somehow did get myself to take action, I panicked the whole day prior to making the move. And then, if I did get rejected, I’d lick my wounds like a sad, downtrodden little bitch.
Luckily, just as I’ve learned to desensitize myself to my fears, you can too. I’ve since learned to shift my fear of failure, into a fear of regret…
Today I fear missing out on an opportunity far more than I fear getting rejected.
As long as I take action, I give myself the freedom to feel good about myself. I’ve internalized señor Gretzky’s logic, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
Similar to learning to love the burn of a hard workout, you can learn to cherish the process of taking action and coming up short. You can learn to love taking shots, even if you miss. And the shortcut for doing so is simple…
Fear Regret, Not Rejection
Begin to fear missing out. Fear regret more than you fear rejection. This is the ultimate paradigm shift. The reason? A fear of regret (as opposed to a fear of rejection) promotes taking action.
And as we know from psychological research, repeatedly taking action is the #1 way we desensitize ourselves to our fears. The more we repeatedly take action, doing something that’s scary like approaching a girl despite having approach anxiety, the less scary the act becomes.
This is how we teach kids not to fear dogs or clowns or their first day of school. We keep introducing them to dogs, clowns, or Mrs. Hendren’s kindergarten class.
Repeated Action is How We Desensitize Our Fears
This simple idea of taking action towards that which scares us has the potential to be life-changing, if we act upon it. It’s the same with you and I, as adults, as it was for us as kids. The more you pet the dog, the less scary the dog becomes.
It’s why this simple quote by Emerson has such practical value…
Always do what you are afraid to do.
But let’s be honest and call an ace an ace. Doing what we’re afraid to do isn’t easy to do. It’s the truth.
But taking action upon our fears and desensitizing ourselves to them becomes far easier when we reframe rejection. In fact, this very strategy is how I defeated my social anxiety! Here’s the reframe that changes the game…
Downgrade the significance you place on rejection. And increase the value you place on living without regret. This is how you prime your mindset for action taking.
To your peak,
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