Most people would say “just go talk to her and be yourself.”
Well, great. But I want results.
So then, a lot of “gurus” would say, just go boldly approach her.
The truth is that I agree with those statements, to a point, but the other half of the coin is that you care about how this interaction will go…
You’re looking for a way to make the process easier.
And you want her to be interested in YOU… Right?
I understand. Luckily, as an awkward guy transformed into a socially skilled guy who now coaches others to make the same shift, this is my bread and butter.
I’m working with a client right now to help him with situations just like this, and I’m happy to share some really simple, actionable advice with you, so you can kickstart your dating life.
What follows is the best game-plan for talking to the woman you like so that sparks fly.
Cool? Ok.. Class begins.
Here’s the first big idea… 😉
At a party, time is on your side.
People usually stay at parties for hours at a time. What this means is you don’t have to rush things. Instead, you can be calculated. We’re going to use this to our advantage. How?
First pearl of wisdom: Talk to everyone at the party.
One reason why it seems tough to go talk to a girl at a party, even if you know she’s interested in you, is because you are probably doing what 90% of guys do when they’re out at night…
What do 90% of guys do? They stay in one place, drink in hand, and talk only with the people in a 6ft. radius of them.
You do NOT want to do this!
Staying in one place keeps you socially stifled — stuck in your head.
Instead, as I shared before, you want to be bouncing from group to group, sharing freely with everyone. You want to be a man on the move! But why?
Here are three reason…
1) Talking to everyone gets you out of your head and into a fun social state.
2) Moving about and socializing freely shows you have social skills, which women will observe. This only increases your value in the eyes of women at the party.
3) It’s more fun to meet everyone at the party than it is to stay put!
However, the question that guys naturally have here is this…
You’re saying you want me to just go up to everyone, even people I don’t know, and start a conversation?? How?!?
Here’s the easiest and most effective method for talking to anyone, period.
Introducing, The In-n-Out Method
The In-n-Out Method is simple… You go in and introduce yourself to a group. You share a minute or two of small talk (a joke or two is ideal), and then, you share that you’re trying to meet everyone, and you’ll all catch up later.
Then, you leave. And immediately go on to the next group or person.
Just a minute in each conversation.
Next. No stress, super easy.
You meet everyone, get into a social state fast, and quickly become the most popular guy in the venue.
Do this for 15 minutes or so and you’ll be in an amazing social state.
By this time, once you feel social and fun and light (what you want to aim for by the way), I’d go bounce over to the girl who likes you and give her a quick In n Out introduction like we’ve talked about.
Say hi, tease her and flirt with her a little bit, and then, just after an emotional high point, excuse yourself and continue being social.
Here’s what’s cool. When you get this right, you become the prize…
She’ll start wishing she had more time with you.
Now, by executing this In-n-Out Method successfully, you become the most popular guy at the party. And she gets the gift of feeling some really exciting emotions around you!
But don’t give in right away, and start spending all your time with her, as soon as she shows interest (even if she asks you to!)…
Keep talking to everyone using the In-n-Out Method.
On the second round, it’s normal to stay a bit longer. 1-10 minutes depending on the vibe. With each time you enter and leave, just be sure you act decisively.
You’re in. You bring amazing energy. Then? You’re out. Cuz you got other people to see.
In-n-Out, baby. Simple. No questions asked, no big deal.
Then… 15 minutes later or so… you can come back to your gal, and this time, stay a bit longer.
You want to always be giving her (as well as everyone else at the party) injections of positive fun emotions.
Remember: that’s THE reason why people are at parties. To have fun!
So always bring the fun. Never get too serious if you can avoid it. Keep the emotions pumped up! But again — don’t just focus on one girl. Give everyone the good vibes! Be an equal opportunity contributor 😉
Keep repeating this In-n-Out method at the party until it becomes clear that the two of you have a real connection.
At this point, if you see she’s clearly interested in you, finally “let her” isolate you from the group…
Hold the belief that she’s the one hitting on you…
Even tell her that you’re going to “let her” have you for a little while. This is an excellent way to maintain sexual tension while positioning yourself as the prize 😉
Then, if it becomes clear she really wants to get intimate with you…
Take her to somewhere private as quickly as possible!
And let nature take it’s course! 😉
To your peak,
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