My friends constantly give me shit. The reason? Whenever they ask me to commit with plans, I say no. Or, at best, I’ll give them a maybe. Maybe, meaning I’ll make the decision when I’m ready to.
I believe in the power of non-commitment for many reasons. For one, I don’t like giving up my personal freedom. The moment I commit to a plan, sign a contract, or say “I do,” my options immediately decrease.
It’s simple: non-commitment is power. Start saying no.
In a minute, we’ll dive into a quick video featuring Don Draper from Mad Men, who succinctly explains the power of non-commitment.
But first, let’s discuss the three areas where using non-commitment gives you power…
#1: Non-Commitment Gives You Power Romantically
Most guys reek of desperation. They’re constantly begging women to spend time with them. And if a woman asks the guy to do something with her, he immediately exclaims, YES! OF COURSE!
But not you. You’re wiser than that. Instead, you want to start saying no in your romantic relationships, especially in the beginning. If a woman asks you out, especially if you have other plans, simply say, “Can’t. Let’s raincheck.”
Likewise, most guys try to “lock down” a woman they like as soon as they think she’ll say yes. This stems from their fear of loss. But again, this isn’t how you roll. You know that by not needing to get her to commit, you give her space to chase you. By not committing immediately, by making her your girlfriend or your wife, you give yourself options.
You get more time to ensure she’s the ideal woman for you. And equally importantly, you maintain a mindset of abundance. By not committing, you get to date freely if you so choose. This keeps her on her toes. It also makes her value you more, because we all want that which we can’t quite grasp.
By acting with less need to commit, she realizes you’re different. A rare breed of man she can’t quite get her hands on…
Without a doubt, you should use non-commitment in your romantic relationships, especially when you’re first dating.
#2: Non-Commitment Gives You Power Professionally
Are you great at what you do? Yes? Are you a peak performer? Since you’re reading this blog, there’s a good chance you are. Assuming you are, a long-term contract may be something to avoid.
Especially if you’re continuing to elevate your skill-set professionally, committing to a contract sets a cap on your earning potential. A long-term contract also locks you to an organization.
This means, if that organization begins making poor decisions, there’s little you can do. You can’t leave — even if other firms are interested in you.
Consider an approach involving less commitment in your career — especially if you’re on the rise.
You never know when a better opportunity will present itself… By not committing, you ensure you can pivot and capitalize on whatever opportunities life presents.
#3: Non-Commitment Gives You Power Socially
Nothing pisses me off like feeling forced to do something. I’m sure you can relate. The worst is when you’ve committed to a party or an event weeks in advance. But then, when the day comes around, you realize there’s 7 other things you’d rather do with your Sunday.
Besides the freedom that non-commitment gives you socially, this approach also makes you higher value. Think about it: if your friends and colleagues could get you out with them whenever they asked, how much would they really value your presence?
That which is always available becomes boring. Instead, make maybe your favorite word. Let your crew know you’ll figure it out down the road. Maybe you’ll be there, maybe you wont.
This gives you the freedom to act based on what you truly want to do in the moment. In return, when you do show up, you’re actually in the mood. When you only attend events you want to in the moment, you bring your best self.
You’re upbeat and happy to be there — and your social circle gets a class-A reminder of why they love you.
Non-commitment works a treat in your social life. Give it a whirl.
And now, as promised, here’s the video, featuring Don Draper, from Mad Men…
Don Draper Shows You the Power of Non-Commitment
Final question for you:
How will you deploy the principle of non-commitment to create more power, and better results, for yourself?
I want to know. Let me know in the comments box below.
To your peak,
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